i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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