I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
God I need to hump something, right now.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
