So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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