think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
