HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I lost the right to judge tonight
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
