maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
