i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
