Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
high people should be assigned attendants
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
