I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
