what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
