STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
