The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
