Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
