I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
