Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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