how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
