so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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