I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
