can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
