He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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