That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
