So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
