you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
