I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
