Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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