he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
