I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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