Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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