You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
