We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
