If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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