Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
