life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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