I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
