I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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