I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
