If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
