I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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