It's Friday. Sex?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
