just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
