he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
