physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
