I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
