Don't you send me to vm
I will die if light touches me.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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