Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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