Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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