think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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