He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
