You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
last night I used snow as a chaser
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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