Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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