He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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